and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
