I can tuck mytits in my pants
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
