is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize