I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
