first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
