Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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