It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
