batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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