The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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