eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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