i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
