I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
