Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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