haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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