He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I love having hate sex.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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