i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
