Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
