I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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