just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
what day is it and did you see me today?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
