so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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