The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
