My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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