420 ftw
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
