Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
