Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
