I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
