I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
