So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
