you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
