So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
