Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
