So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You ruined the universe
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
