If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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