it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
