No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
