brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize