Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
