Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You smell like a Billy Joel song
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
