i wish my penis had a tongue
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
