just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
