she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
