where am i from again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
