Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
