yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize