You made me cry and you don't even care
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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