i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
