He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize