His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
