I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
