Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
