I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
