So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
