God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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