After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There's always time for handjobs
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
