so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
