Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
