It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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