How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
