who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My penis needs a shock collar
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
