Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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