yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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