Say something about gay babies.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
