I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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