I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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