A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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